HOW I KILLED MYSELF

 I killed myself today

I was complaining about people doing wrong to me
I was sad I didn’t get what I expected
I wanted to avenge the naive me for being innocent

Then I realize it was addicting
I was so used to the sorrow and tears
Those were my friends
Crying with tears running down my cheeks was my orgasm
Not that i was hurting anybody
Nor even me
But that old me was hurting people around me
My ragged clothes, dragging body...wandering eyes were not pleasing, instead very disturbing

Thus to exist with coherence with the souls around me
I had to do it...
I took out the longest sword that my mind can hold
Put it in burning flame until the steel is red like the burning sun
First make the blade slide through the skin
It killed all my history of touch
Then I pierced it through my ribs
That sizzling sound grew louder until it touched my heart.
Instead of bleeding my heart burned to a black ball and finally turned into a hard earth
Then I sliced my neck , my head didn’t fell off but stood there held up high and the sword lost all its redness..
And suddenly the weight that i have been carrying descended
My body felt light
Something died ....something heavy
It feels nice than i have expected
That burning flames turned me cold?
That sensitive skin got its strength ?
My limbs are stronger?
Its easy to get back up
I killed the evil in me
Not that evil who eats flesh
But the evil who collects
Who assembles that are not necessary
Now i am lighter ....my feets are floating
It was an artist might be
But its better to live in present than to dwell into the disaster.